She is in my trunk
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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