the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize