She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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