i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
