It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
