Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
