My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize