his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
