Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize