Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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