I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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