I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
