i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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