ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
