I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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