Soap is not a condiment
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
