Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
