Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
