But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
