she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
