you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
