I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
