Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
