Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
