why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize