there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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