Are we in a gay sports bar?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
