Do you still have your period?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
