Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
