my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
