normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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