Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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