Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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