your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
