yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
