Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Green mimosas i think yes
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
