i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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