my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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