4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
