Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize