btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
