these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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