Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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