The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize