just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I party with great urgency now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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