wat bout pragnant strippers??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
