I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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