Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
