Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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