I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
