I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
