We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
