I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize