This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
