Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
