My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize