Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
