Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
