Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
