So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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