Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
