Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
