they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
